please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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