I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
