Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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