She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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