I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
