so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
