Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
