ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think your dad took our porno
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
