i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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