Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
