Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
