Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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