..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
