just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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