He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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