tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
