If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
