yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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