i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
