Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hippo gnu deer
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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