that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You're like the curious george of whores
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
