it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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