i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
