1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
