I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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