O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
