I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
