His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
