so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
