I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
