As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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