We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
