you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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