And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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