ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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