I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
