i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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