if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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