Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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