Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
