I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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