Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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