uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
