Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
