I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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