I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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