3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
