i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
