when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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