She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
