Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
