Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
