u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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