Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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